for the past week I've been looking into insurance alternatives, and unfortunately nothing, I mean NOTHING will save me from this induction. I've totally come to terms with it, and I know that no matter what happends the end result will be perfect. I'm just scared of the unknown, and to make matters worse, this induction is going completely against what my body is ready for at this very moment. people do it all the time, and I have to keep telling myself that, and just get on with it.

yesterday I was concentrating as hard as I could (and for me, that's not very hard, I've got lots on my mind) but I was thinking and concentrating on going into labor on my own and suddenly I felt a small gush of water. I got so excited, I thought maybe my water had broke. the only thing was it was a small amount, like about 5 tablespoons or so, plus I was standing up so I thought maybe the babies head was acting as a cork. So, I layed down and waited, and waited, and waited. No contractions, and no more leakage. So, I chalked it off to pissing my pants. even though that had not happend at all up until that point. I called the doc just to see what he would say. he told me to wait a couple of hours and see if anything happend. his idea was that perhaps the baby dropped into position and hit my bladder which caused the leak. I got my hopes up though...

I would imagine I will be home no later than Friday, and I will have a little cute newcomer with me. I am sure the moment I can I will update w/ some details.

wish me luck.