I can not believe how incredibly lazy and unmotivated I feel! It sucks. I am going to have to force myself to get it together and get outta the house today. It's 10 am right now. Here's my plan:

Work Out *yah, right*

Clean this pig sty of a house *bwwahhh!!*

Go to cory's parents house to meet his aunt and uncle from Utah? I think it is. *mandatory project for today*

As for things I would like to do this weekend:

Work on a zine *I toyed w/ names and subjects for articles last night*

Work on B*ig Sandy's website

Work on BDC Developments website *my 1st paying website, it's a shambles*

Work on my honey's website

Go to Crazy Jacks tonight to see Deke Dickerson do his thing *where oh where will I find the motivation?*

Cory played the Deer Lodge last night, and I chose to stay home. He played w/ Jackass *I've mentioned them before*, Toby is the singer, and he is a friend of Cory's. But something really fucked up happend last night. And my boy got home at 2:30 with smoke coming out of his ears, he was Pissed w/ a capital P. Basically they were told that they would split the door between the two bands. There was a $5 cover, so let's say there were 300 people there, that's $1,500 bucks, you get the picture. The B*arrel Dodgers played 2 sets, because Jackass doesn't have enough material to play 2 sets (seriously, that's what toby told Cory), and Cory had to hang out until Jackass was done playing because they were using his PA. No big deal, Cory is generous that way, and he is willing to do things for friends. Well, when it came time to collect the money, the shit hit the fan. Eric (he is the dude who kind of manages the B*arrel Dodgers) went up to the owner to get paid, and they gave him $350 and said "$150 for The B*arrel Dodgers and $200 for Jackass". W-W-WHAT? "No, no,no, the deal was the 'entire door goes to the bands'", Eric said. They claimed that $350 was a "little more than half the door". Bullshit! So, after exchanging some words, all Eric managed to get was $450., and the instructions were $300 for jackass, and $150 for Cory. Cory was livid, because he is a fair guy, and he has always split the money down the middle when he has played with Jackass. So, today he will iron it all out. Eric has all the money, Cory feels that toby should split the money down the middle, not only cause TBD played 2 sets, and not only because they used Cory's PA, but also because Toby is supposed to be Cory's friend. You know, somehow I don't think friendship is in the equation here. We'll see.

On a much more serious note. Last night, I kept waking up, thinking about that poor little 14 year old girl who was snatched out of her home in Utah. I kept imagining the pain that her family has to endure, and the pain that she herself has/had to endure. Life really has a way of throwing curve balls to people. An accident is one thing, but a deliberate act of violence on another person is uncomprehensible. It also made me think of a girl I work with. Her sister in law was killed on memorial day weekend during a robbery at her work. I mean, shit like that just isn't suppost to happen. Well, my heart is breaking because of that little girl. The harsh reality of it is that she's most likely dead.

Ok, sorry to talk about such a heavy, fucked up subject. It's just one of those kinds of days for me I guess. I'm thinking about bad shit, wayyyy too much.

Ok, on a lighter note. I am going to start on a zine of my own. I am tossing around a few names, and so far my fav is Blast off! Is that lame? Before I settle on anything though, I'm going to give it alot of thought. I was reading about Zines, and the history of them, etc., and it seems as though initially they were made up of a collage of cut and paste images. I was kind of thinking of doing the whole thing in Illustrator. That might take away from the rawness of it. So, I dunno what I'll do yet.

Gotta run!